


Hell, No

by MiaCooper



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/F, Gen, Guess the Pairing, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27055150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaCooper/pseuds/MiaCooper
Summary: A series of drabbles written to the prompt "rarepair + hell, no".
Comments: 20
Kudos: 20
Collections: Voyager Writing Game Prompts





	1. There's No Profit in Mushrooms

**Author's Note:**

> These drabble pairs cross all Star Trek series and most are randomly selected from [this list](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EqUG0pTKptGmG0Lb8K4cJopaqE17pU6zfAeBv7MTwdU/edit?usp=sharing). Guess the identity and win absolutely nothing but satisfaction!
> 
> Or if you're the kind of person who skips to the last chapter first, here's a [cheat sheet](https://www.juicylime.net/hellno-cheatsheet).

“I’ll give you three strips of gold-pressed latinum for it.”

“It’s not for sale.”

“Everything is for sale for the right price. What do you want?”

“I want you to get your beady eyes off my _antique_ communicator and leave me alone. Wait – get me a drink first. More of that _kanar_.”

“No accounting for taste. You want some _tojal_ with it?”

“Hell, no. But I’ll take some more of your stuffed mushrooms.”

“You really like those things.”

“They remind me of better days. What do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

“Why?”

“I miss the better days, too.”


	2. What One and One Makes

With her Illyrian ancestry, she’d always known she would be long-lived, but she’d never expected to see the turn of another century. Perhaps her extended lifespan was the result of many brushes with temporal anomalies. Perhaps it was a gift, though having long outlived everyone she loved, she found it a difficult one to accept.

Hell, no, she didn’t want it.

She watched the sun setting over the vineyard. Her companion lay beside her, undemanding; she laid a hand on his solid head. He snuffled softly, at peace. As was she.

Perhaps this gift was to be appreciated after all.


	3. Badlands and Good Guys

The ship wove through plasma storms like a Cardassian vole through the conduits of Terok Nor.

“Shoot him down,” shouted the commander of the pursuing vessel. “That ship is a bucket of rust and bolts!”

Disruptor beams arced through space.

Inside the rustbucket, the pilot’s fingers flew over the helm and his ship soared starboard. The disruptors impacted plasma streams and flared brightly, blinding the pursuers. 

“Hell, no,” the pilot crowed, accelerating, evading. “No luck for the Fourth Order today.”

The other vessel’s commander hissed in impotent fury, then settled back in his chair.

Reckoning day would have to wait.


	4. A Future Between Worlds

“Well, this doesn’t look like Sto-vo-kor.”

At this dry statement, a figure detached from the shadows and looked down at the woman on the medical bed.

“Gre’thor, no,” the woman breathed. “A Romulan.”

“As you can see,” replied her companion, “I’m not exactly Romulan.”

“Caught between two worlds. Like me.” Eyes narrowed. “How did I get here? How did _you_ get here?”

“I only know that you died on the _Enterprise_ ,” replied the not-Romulan. “And because of the _Enterprise_ , I was born.”

“My son,” mourned the newcomer. “My future.”

A pale hand touched her facial ridges.

“I am your future.”


	5. Old Friends, New Adventures

“My, haven’t you changed,” the old man offers drily, watching her approach. “One might say you’re twice the person you used to be.”

The lieutenant in blue gives a mock curtsey.

“Off to your next posting?” He snips the wilting head off a rose. “That space station in the middle of nowhere?”

“Yes. With Ben.” She bends to uproot a weed. “I wonder how he’ll take it when he sees me like this.”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared.”

“Of Ben? Hell, no.”

“Of yourself, then.”

“Of parts of me,” she admits.

He pats her shoulder. “You’ll get used to them.”


	6. Limbo

“Any regrets?”

“I’d have liked to see my family, say goodbye, but this is better for them. I may be in limbo now, but they don’t have to be. They can finally start new lives.” He turns to her. “You?”

“I wish I could’ve seen my sister one last time. But she’ll be fine without me.”

“Are you sorry it ended this way?”

“Hell, no.” She shakes her head firmly. “I’m sorry that the ones I left behind are angry. That they think my death was pointless. But I died doing what I loved.”

“Yeah,” he says, smiling. “Me too.”


	7. A Lost, But Worthy Cause

“I have to leave soon,” one says, wrapping her lover’s tight curls around her finger.

“You know the Fenris Rangers are a lost cause.”

The first shrugs. “Won’t be the first one I’ve joined.”

Her lover rolls over, reaches for the horgl, packs it expertly.

“Come with me.”

“Oh, hell no.”

“Please,” the first says, softer, “I’m afraid of what will happen to you if I leave you behind.”

“I’d be a liability.” She traces a finger over the delicate, ridged nose. “Besides, what would JL think? Another protegee deserting to join freedom fighters.”

“I think he deserted you first.”


	8. Rocket Fuelled

“Goddamn impulse drive!”

A hyperspanner glances off the bulkhead, narrowly missing a crop of red hair. The redhead turns. “I take it your fix didn’t work.”

Her companion – small, wiry, lithe, like herself – kicks a repair kit across the deck. “Hell, no,” she sulks.

“In the resistance –”

“Yeah, I know, you learned to make do. Thanks to the Klingons, so have I.” Dark eyes glower from under dark bangs. “I need a damn drink.”

A flask appears. She tips the whiskey back and looks up, grateful.

“Better?”

“Almost.” She leans in and kissses the redhead. “Now let’s fix this ship.”


	9. God Mode

“So they can alter their form into anything they like.”

“Naturally.”

“And create entire species designed to worship them.”

“I’m living proof.”

“Ah, but can they alter the nature of the known universe?”

“They’re gods. They can do anything.”

“Oh, hell no! I’m closer to a god than those piles of goo.”

“Because you can click your fingers and appear halfway across the room? Please. Federation transporters can do that.”

“Well, Federation officers can be gods too, it seems.”

“Captain Sisko might throw a mean punch, but he’s not a god.”

“You just had to bring that up, didn’t you?”


	10. Eminent Domain

“My child, the Maquis are simply fighting Cardassian oppression of their worlds. I cannot help but sympathise. You must see the ethical dilemma your Federation’s request presents me.”

Her opponent rose to her feet, slim hands balled into fists.

“Forgive me,” she ground out, “but I am not your _child_. And if you think I’ll turn a blind eye to the Maquis running riot through the DMZ with your blessing –”

“Careful, Admiral. Bajor’s alliance could be vital to the Federation someday. Is it worth losing over a point of pride? Concede.”

Glacier blue eyes met their icy match.

“Hell, no.”


End file.
